Disparate
by gaymariarobotnik
Summary: There are two hedgehogs inside of you one is gay the other is gay you are gay Just some self-love drabble content I did to ease the mind because *shrug* I'm gay Also some sonadow at the end because I'm trash


n they ac

Sadness can build until sadness boils over.

Never hide it, young hero

Or it may be the loss of you

A shivering darkness swept over Light as he found himself in the quiet void that was the mind. He was...awake, and yet...how could he be? He was merely a part of Sonic, not a whole. But then...if he were awake, then that meant…

"Dark…?"

His voice echoed past the black, endless walls, bouncing around him now as he found surface below his feet. Landing, he peered around the empty space, trying to find any sign of the other. He couldn't just be gone, could he…? Sonic needed them both! He...he couldn't be here without them both…

Drifting along cautiously, he searched for the other. It felt like forever, the emptiness making it clear in his chest now. He needed the other, didn't he understand? Had he never told him before just how much he mattered…?

"Light?"

He stopped, feet flat on the ground now as he turned towards the voice. It was softer than his own, and most certainly different from that of Sonic's, but it always made him happy to hear it. Drifting towards the other, he gently took his hands, watching him hesitate for a moment before looking to their hands. "Where did you go, Dark? I was worried you'd disappeared…"

Dark was quiet, still looking to their hands. Light's were so radiant, so...calming and warm. His were only cold...Sonic didn't like feeling cold. Sonic didn't like...him…

"He doesn't like crying, Light...not even around those he cares about the most. Why should I make him do something he doesn't want? He feels awful when I'm around! Not only that, but I'm a danger to everyone! We're supposed to be the hero but I make us look like the villain! I feel like a villain..."

"Dark…" Light watched as his hands clenched into fists, the irisless eyes glowing brightly with anger, but he could tell he wasn't raging, there was a storm inside of him but one that wasn't violent. He knew him. He was part of him, after all. He needed to take control, and yet he was hiding himself away. But...why?

"He may feel awful, but doesn't everyone always feel better after letting everything out? You can't rob him of that. Even if he hates it, even if he doesn't want anyone to see a weaker side of him, you have to let him...people care about him so much and he doesn't realize that. You have to be the one to make him realize." He reminded him, bringing a hand up to his cheek, gently cupping it and feeling the darker hedgehog stiffen slightly, before leaning into the touch.

"How can I when he keeps lying to himself…what good am I to someone who'd rather shove me away like he's done to all of his bad days…?" White hot tears slowly crawled down his cheeks, and a couple rolled their way onto Light's hand. They were so cold...but the cold comforted him, and it could comfort Sonic too. He just needed to see that.

"Dark, Sonic needs you as he needs me. If you were to disappear, Sonic could never truly be happy. No one is happy without a little bit of sadness, and his sadness is long overdue. Besides, what would I do if you were gone…?"

The question hit Dark in the chest. He didn't expect it to, and yet it did. He would miss him…? But they were so different, and how could Light care about someone who caused so much destruction…? More tears came, this time causing his frame to shake as he leaned in further against the other's touch, his arms moved up to hold Light's arms, soft sobs escaping him.

"I just want him to be okay...I never thought I could give him that…"

Light merely smiled, leaning his forehead against the other's.

"You've been there for him for so long, Dark...you just don't' realize that. Without you, there couldn't be Sonic, not as he always is." He paused a moment, lifting the other's head by his chin with a warm smile.

"You are much more important than you believe, and I need you...and he needs us." He finished, holding the other close now in an embrace.

"Do you understand…?"

Dark nodded, feeling comforted in the warmth of the other, this was how it was supposed to be. Sonic needed them...both of them. A last sigh was released, before the warmth surrounded them completely.

"Sonic…?"

The blue blur met eyes with the ultimate lifeform, silent tears welling at the corners now before he curled into the other's embrace Was Shadow always this warm…? Perhaps he'd never savored it before, but now...as he felt his throat ache with silenced sobs, it felt like a blanket comforting him, telling him that it was alright. It was okay...you aren't the only one who's faced trials and tribulations...he would understand. His hands clenched his arms, shaking now as the first few sobs left him quietly, before a sharp inhale struck in him, and his sobs became more apparent. Yet...Shadow wasn't stopping him, he wasn't moving, and he wasn't saying anything.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't save you...I'm sorry I didn't try harder I just…" another sharp intake paused, him, enough for Shadow to quiet him with a gentle brush of the hand through his quills.

"You always blame yourself, don't you? It's not like you could've stopped me from facing the Biolizard, and you couldn't have stopped Station Square from being destroyed either. Things just happen sometimes, and just because you're the only person that cares about it, doesn't mean you should blame yourself. I've had to tell Rouge the same thing." He paused, his voice a bit more quiet now.

"I've had to tell myself the same thing...and you don't want to believe it. You want to blame yourself, believe me I know...but you can't. I can never be mad at you for a decision I made, as I know Maria could never be mad at me for something she chose…" Despite his words, he still held him, letting him get it all out. He needed to let him know that he could be someone who could sit in silence while he cried, it was probably something he needed.

"...you're probably right about that, I really care too much, maybe even more than Amy at times." Sonic's voice sounded more like a whimper at this point, and he winced at his delivery. Why was he acting so pathetic around him? Shadow was never this bad when opening up to him. He backed up a bit, wiping the tears from his cheeks before gently moving his hands to wrap around Shadow' inhibitors.

"When I saw those rings floating in space...I didn't realize right away that you were gone...but when Rouge asked where you were I...I didn't know what to do...I saw this look in Amy's eye and...it was the same one I'd gotten when we'd realized what was going to become of Station Square...a loss."

"Do you believe you've lost me?"

Sonic looked up at this, meeting the other's gaze in curiosity before realizing how he'd worded his last sentence.

"N-No! I just...at the time I didn't know if I'd ever see you again and I just...I felt like I'd lost someone I could've given a better life to. I-" He paused, before realizing what he was saying. Shadow was right...

Shadow was quiet for a moment, before nodding in understanding, the hand in his quills brushing behind his ears now as he relaxed further back on their couch.

"You get it, don't you? You try to do anything you can to make up for that one mistake, but nothing will ever make you feel better until you admit that it was never really your fault in the first place. You have to let it go and accept that it's in the past."

Sonic's fingers brushed up against his inhibitors now, staring at them longingly before feeling Shadow's hands clasp around his. He was quiet for a moment, before nodding.

"Right...I can't be happy without accepting the sad parts first…"

He closed his eyes now, feeling a calm aura wash over him before exhaling softly. Let it go, Sonic. It's okay now.

Petals may eventually be devoured by the earth,

but they can always bloom once more when they accept the warming darkness.

cept the warming darkness.


End file.
